Apr 9, 2010

HOW TO KILL SOMEONE AND LEAVE NO TRACE

Any below 18 reading my blog? Hands up please!


OK kids, don't try this at home...


This is just a rough guide on how to murder someone without leaving a trace. I won't guarantee it works at all times. But it's the best top 5 murder method one (ahem... me) can ever think of.



#5 - Hit and run

Before you hit and run, take some drugs or alcohol or whatever that can influence your aptitude, judgment, conscience and intellectual. Then go on, drive full speed and bang that bitch down.

In trial, the worst you can get is sentence for DUI. If your lawyer is good enough, he'll get you out of manslaughter by discarding mens rea for killing that bitch.



#4 - Suffocate and drown

The best place to commit crime is in open sea. Suffocate that bitch and throw her into the sea. There would be no mark left because by the time they discover her dead body, it would be too swollen to prove that you suffocated her.

But if you're smart enough, create alibi before going out to the sea, of course.



#3 - Administrate drugs

They say, know your enemy before you attack. If he or she is a drug user, bingo! Just inject him whatever you can find.

Autopsy will show that the corpse died of overdosage of drugs. With history of his/her drug usage, you can walk out free from court.



#2 - Kill however you want and freeze it

If you prefer to shoot or chop or slash, freeze the corpse under -20C. When they discover the body, it takes two days to defreeze the body. That means it takes two days in order for them to conduct post mortem.

Two days is good for you to run to Kathmandu to hide.



#1 - Hire a hitman

Now... who wants to hire me???



**Disclaimer: This post is for mere entertainment purposes. The discription above do not reflect any suggestion to instigate crime.

19 comments:

Huai Bin said...

I would put my money on #3 - #1 is kinda flawed if the prosecution can prove intent e.g. you have beef with the person who you ran down.

#3 is easy and probably the best of the lot.

*avoids Jerine for the rest of my life*

Haha!

Kelvin said...

Lol, hire u to do the 4 methods above?

I got one method too, mince the corpse and feed to dog. I mean mince the bone with the meat. In that way, no bones will be found for any dna examination.

Jerine said...

Huai Bin: I have no reason to kill you. Unless.... Hmmmm... *evil thoughts*


Kelvin: Kenot lah. Your method too dirty. Will leave traces everywhere.

Yvonne Yong said...

what... jerine holding a pink gun. cannot accept lah!!

Jerine said...

Yvonne: At least it's not purple.

zthon said...

so many people to kill. 5 methods not enough :P

Anonymous said...

5 methods for some people can be more than enough but here are some suggestions to add.
if you inject salt water into the persons blood line itll kill them instantlywith no trace cause who thinks of killing with salt water. or injecting someone with straight air use a syrenge though. the person dies with no trace you dont even have to worry about court.

Anonymous said...

never hert a women there is no good to come from it just get away

Anonymous said...

it would take 3 full shots the size of a dog shot syringe and you need to make sure you get a vain so that's a lot harder then it looks

Anonymous said...

how ever you want just. slaughter and eat the body. i am from a canniblistic tribe from Brazil have some pretty good recipes mm mm good. lol

Anonymous said...

just in case there are any idiots out there do not poison them if your going to eat them if you do could .feed them. to an enemy then you got two birds with one stone and will not need an alibi he killed the victim and was stupid enough to eat them himself if they do check his stomach contents have not done this personaly but i know it works every time have manydangerous friends back home

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha..i try it soon....

Anonymous said...

I and all with an oz of common sense should concur with your comment. I am a subject. I have more than one vermin to end their synaspe from connecting to the other synapse. This whole town will pay for what they've done to my children and I. My anxiety lies in whom shall receive the honors of being the first among many to die? Police.exhusband.frenemies.the whole lot of them. Death is hereditary, but murder is a gift and they should be so lucky.BTOwn

darkside : ) said...

wow ...theres a hole bunch of people on this site who are like me ....lol

Darkside said...

Jerine....did u start this website ??? if not it doesnt matter

u seem like an interesting person

lets talk : )

Anonymous said...

if you are going to kill a man.
squeeze his testicles when he is sleeping. many women do this in asia and get away with murder.

http://www.paclii.org//cgi-bin/disp.pl/pg/cases/PGNC/1995/6.html?query=lucy%20moro

cossiah women of India have used their knowledge of the testes' sensitivity to cold-bloodedly murder their husbands by squeezing their testes.




Anonymous said...

Cannibals dont eat the meat of the dead person, thatd be like getting mad cow disease but for humans. The proper polite cannibal puts maggots in the corpse and then eats them when they are ripe on the flesh.... mmmmm hmmmmmm bet it tastes like chicken lol

Anonymous said...

Sick muthafukaz smdh cock my fukin pistol

Anonymous said...

I got to get rid of her.......

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