I know I shouldn't be saying this. Talking about it makes me feel like I'm talking bad about Alwin. But I just can't help it. I get so frustrated that I didn't get enough attention from him. When I confront him with my sudden outburst of emotional disorder, he'll say that I'm needy and I'm such a distraction to him. We've only been together for a year and now we're arguing like an old married couple. I hate it when it happens. I don't know if I'm being selfish to seek attention from him. But I'm really sorry that I've always compared him with other people.
I guess I need something to distract me. Probably I'm too occupied with him, that's why I'm behaving this way. I'm thinking of going for a go-karts round in Glenorchy. Or maybe sky-diving. I missed the sky-diving in Melbourne because I bought the wrong plane ticket. I wished I stayed longer in Melbourne during my Easter break to do the jump. Then I could cross out one of the "things to do in my life". Go-karts is on the list, so I might as well...
Some other off topic issue in my life...I'm currently working in an Indian restaurant. I love the people there. They are quite warm and friendly. But there's a big sucky part having to work there. I don't get permanent shift. Whenever I'm not supposed to work, they will call me up, as if I'm some 24 hour-doctor-on-call. When I'm supposed to work, they'll just call up and say they don't need me because the restaurant won't be busy. I mean...WTF? At the end of the day, I only get paid AUD90 for last week. I supposed to get AUD250, but because they always don't need me, I can't work as much as I want to.
Thank God, I found a substitute in a Chinese restaurant. Next week I'll be working 25 hours and I'm happy with it. At least I know how much I will be earning, so I can plan my expenditure for the week. I like fixed schedule so I know how to plan the rest of my week. Messy plans like last minute calls frustrate me a lot. "Some people" think that I'm a freak because I'm on holiday but yet I have a fixed time table of what to do. But there are things in life that should be in order, like throwing rubbish in the bin, put your dirty laundry in the basket, etc. Planning for daily tasks is just one of it.
Actually these working "thing" is a secret I'm hiding from my parents. I rarely have secrets because I don't think I need one. But obviously, this is a hint. I know they read my blog sometimes (or am I wrong?). If they do read this post, I hope they know that I really want to work. At least to spend some time doing something productive. I cannot tell them right in front of their face because I know somehow they will win me over not to work.
It seems ridiculous to me that, I'm serving customers every night. Cleaning up the mess those people left on the table. Et cetera and et cetera. Back home I have three maids and a cook to serve the family. But right here, I'm just a servant. Or maybe worse...because my maids get better treatment from my parents than I from my employer. I also find it hard to believe that I don't usually count my money. All I do is call up my IMF* whenever my bank account looks pathetic. At the end of the day, I feel really contented that I am spending my time wisely and seeing money grow in my bank account without contribution from IMF.
Going to get some beer and sleep now...
*IMF is International Monetary Fund, i.e. what my bro and I usually address our parents whenever money issue involved. He's in US and I'm in Australia, our parents earning money in Malaysia and Singapore. That's why it's called the International Monetary Fund.